Alpha to Omega

I have nothing to say. I feel overwhelmed by the vast space surrounding me mentally (considering my agorophobia, this is scary) and I really do feel that I have nothing to say. I suppose I could just talk about nothing as an entity in and of itself and then erase this tomorrow when I wake up and discover how brutally awful it is and what a jaded and horrible person I am.

It sounds as though I should be having a mental breakdown, or be overcome by some depressed state, but somehow I'm not. I feel like I'm on a new drug; how can I possibly be content with this nothingness?

Nothing can be better than something. Of course, if I really believed that I wouldn't be writing this. There have been moments, of which I don't wish to speak, when this was true.

When I look back on the last few years of my life and realise that I accomplished nothing and that it means nothing, it makes me realise what I would have or should have done instead and what it will eventually mean. That forces me out of bed, and forces me to do things. People go their entire lives being 'busy' and doing things that are in fact nothing, so maybe that's the reason I don't feel so bad.

Really though, I have nothing to say, and this blather is a waste, acheives nothing and I apologize that you even read it.