Alpha to Omega

I realise it is well past due for a new blog entry. I do apologize to all those who have patiently been awaiting a fresh batch, but my internet connection has been miserable lately and it did take some time to console it into letting me access the outside world. I am glad that the little man with the glasses came to fix my computer because without his kind help I would have no access to the outside world and therefore no joy in my life. Let's have a round of applause for Gareth.

A true cynic is someone who is not only cynical of the world and those around him, but of himself. A true cynic is someone who is disappointed by the things that he scorns. This disappointment indicates a certain level of expectation for greatness, not for despondency. A healthy cynic is someone who has a healthy appreciation for sarcasm.

Sidebar.

On Wednesday night we exited into the rain and streams of people wearing red, everywhere screaming, throwing up, flashing us, attempting to include us in their celebrations. But, we walked on in silence, hands clasped and not talking. They were all walking east, we were walking west, and anywhere there wasn’t an opening we would either squeeze through or wait for something to happen ‘over there’ so that they would run towards it, their eyes wild and possessed by something they didn’t understand. The making of a zombie movie. Lynch mobs. The celebration of mediocrity. The impulsive desire, desperation even, to be included in something, anything, with anyone.

A true cynic is cynical of everything, even himself and more importantly, his cynicism.

We sat on the steps of a church and watched a lone skinny man in short shorts become entangled in a group of pretty girls who were, in any other situation, unapproachable. We watched a homeless man become excited and embroiled in the tangle of bodies and fervour of happiness, just another one of the crew. People became angry when we didn’t return their cries of joy. Even if just for that day, they had been supplied with some kind of identity and some kind of reason.

Then there was us. We would giggle at the absolute banality of the situation, feeling good about our inclusion in the ‘more enlightened’ club. I became well aware that who we were was absolutely tied to how we answered the question “how can I not be alone?” That was our only separation.