Alpha to Omega

We are so petty. Our lives are filled with turmoil that we create, drama we deny we want, and relationships that are based on convenience. I’m sick, I feel so sick and so exhausted I just don’t know what to do.

I’ve listened to this album over and over again, probably three times now. It’s Amazing Grace, Spiritualized and there is a song called Hold On, and it goes like this:

You gotta hold on baby to those you hold dear
And onto the people you love
‘Cause death cannot part us if life already has
Hold on to those you hold dear

And I love this song. And I’ve been crying as I listen to it, and even now as I write this.

There is something going on with us, with people. You see, I think we look at our parents and decide that we want something different. We just don’t know what that is. Who am I kidding? I can’t handle a casual relationship, I can’t handle a real one either. However, I’m not the only one. Everyone else I know is doing what I am right now, cutting out relationships (that necessarily means people) and searching for ourselves. And this is why I’m so upset. Because we’re all so fucked up within ourselves we can’t even hold on to the people who matter in our lives. Life is too short to lose ourselves and them at the same time.