Alpha to Omega

Am I weird because I refuse to use the Starbucks words for small, medium and large? It's always been something I considered a snobbery on their part, and I suppose in return, a snobbery on mine. A friend of mine pointed out that this was a rather strange snobbery for me to have, a refusal to accept European coffee standards, considering my penchant against anything North American. But, I find, (and I’m sure I’m not the only one - don’t lie!), that I feel like I’ve missed something when I hear someone order a “Grande double dry no-fat sugar-free vanilla soy latte”. Like, when did I miss the course on ordering at Starbucks?

After all, the customer is always right, right? Am I to assume that suddenly the capitalist concepts responsible for this sad cliché are dead? I know I don't need to answer that question, we're all liberal conspiracy theorists here. I think I've acquired something of a reputation at the local Starbucks, where the drink Nazis are constantly correcting me when I order a large chai latte. They seem to watch me very carefully when I come in, as if I'm going to cause some kind of uprising among the other corporate victims.

I also have this strange habit at other places. For instance, there are certain words that I just find funny. They aren’t particularly humorous words, I just know that when I say them I will probably start to laugh, or I will not be able to stop myself from pronouncing them in a really obnoxious voice. One such word is delectable. I also don't think I'm capable of saying 'delightful' without it sounding sarcastic. I encounter these problems at restaurants all the time, and when I do, I always end up pointing at the menu and asking for ‘this’. It’s terrible and I really must stop, especially since I’m not eating anywhere with optional side dishes.