The Vault
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Refuge for the rational.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Random Musings
Do you ever forget how much you love the Smiths? I did.
I caught myself looking at this seventeen year old kid today thinking "A few more years and you'll be pretty hot..." I feel like a dirty old man.
Why is everyone acting so strangely lately? Maybe I'm the one who is different or my perception has shifted or I'm just in the beginning stages of paranoid schizophrenia, but it seems that people's patterns of behaviour are all occurring at the same time. In the last week, certain people have been oddly pleasant to me and naturally, I have to assume that there must be some kind of conspiracy going on behind my back. Maybe I've been diagnosed with a terminal illness and no one has bothered to tell me.
Another example of things happening all at the same time are the aforementioned retro phone calls. They haven't stopped. I got one yesterday from someone I worked with when I was 14-16 and one today from someone I haven't seen since I graduated high school. Something is going on and I plan on finding out what it is. Mostly, I feel out of sorts when I get these kinds of calls because there is a part of me that feels embarrassed by the past and by the person I used to be and have worked so hard to improve. It humbles me in some regard and for that I suppose I have some resentment. Really though, I just don't want to talk to them and if they plan on following me around for the rest of my life, I must be even more charming than I thought I was.
Tonight, I'm going out. I plan on not planning or doing anything and being as spontaneous as possible. I've decided that I am in crazy, ineffable bliss at the realisation that the future is wide open. Right then...here's to no one throwing up on me.
I caught myself looking at this seventeen year old kid today thinking "A few more years and you'll be pretty hot..." I feel like a dirty old man.
Why is everyone acting so strangely lately? Maybe I'm the one who is different or my perception has shifted or I'm just in the beginning stages of paranoid schizophrenia, but it seems that people's patterns of behaviour are all occurring at the same time. In the last week, certain people have been oddly pleasant to me and naturally, I have to assume that there must be some kind of conspiracy going on behind my back. Maybe I've been diagnosed with a terminal illness and no one has bothered to tell me.
Another example of things happening all at the same time are the aforementioned retro phone calls. They haven't stopped. I got one yesterday from someone I worked with when I was 14-16 and one today from someone I haven't seen since I graduated high school. Something is going on and I plan on finding out what it is. Mostly, I feel out of sorts when I get these kinds of calls because there is a part of me that feels embarrassed by the past and by the person I used to be and have worked so hard to improve. It humbles me in some regard and for that I suppose I have some resentment. Really though, I just don't want to talk to them and if they plan on following me around for the rest of my life, I must be even more charming than I thought I was.
Tonight, I'm going out. I plan on not planning or doing anything and being as spontaneous as possible. I've decided that I am in crazy, ineffable bliss at the realisation that the future is wide open. Right then...here's to no one throwing up on me.
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