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Refuge for the rational.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

My Favourite Moments From Thursday Night 

Overly Drunk Friend of N’s to Large Breasted Co-Worker (referring to K): This is Amy.

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Overly Drunk Friend of N’s to Some Guy (referring to K, again): This is Amy.

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My Friend N to Her Drunk Friend: No, I can’t go on Saturday because my friend K is having a housewarming party (K is standing right next to me).
Drunk Friend: Oooooooh, that suuuuuucks. Amy? Do you have a cigarette?
K: No, I told you, I don't smoke.

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Drunk Friend to Total Stranger (complete with hugs and touching): Don’t you love my new shoes? I didn’t buy them…they followed me hoooooome! (Raucous laughter)

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Me to N: Does she smoke crack?

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N to K: Do you find strangers react to you differently as a blonde?
BLONDE Drunk Friend: OH! People tooootally react to me differently now that I’m a brunette.
N to Drunk Friend: Honey, you’re blonde.
Drunk Friend: Well, this is a lot darker than I am usually. Seriously, I had some baaaaad hair going. It’s a lot better now.
K: Yeah, and blonde.

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Me to N: Does she smoke crack?

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Drunk Friend: I can’t believe I lost my purse! I feel sick. And my mace was on my keychain. I don’t want anyone to find it.
N: Why don’t you want anyone to know you have mace on your keys?
Drunk Friend: It’s not about them knowing, it’s because I use the mace whenever people try to steal my keys! I can’t believe it…and I just got a new roommate and now already I lose my keys?
K: I think you should break her in early, I mean, you don’t want her to go a whole year thinking you’re not a flake.
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